Mike Mariano

In the year 2007, everything is a spoiler!

I saw the MTC production of Blackbird last night. (Short review: he’s wonderful, she’s terrible, the script is permissible.)

Following the performance, ushers handed out slips of paper meant as a “revision” to the Playbill. Understudy or sponsor information? No; Blackbird’s Playbill is intentionally misrepresented to avoid “spoiling” the show.

Handouts may be cumbersome, but they’re necessary to avoid spoiling precious plot twists!

Here’s another way to avoid spoilers—don’t open your program! That’s what I did; Playbill is a spoiler. It always has been! Curiosity is strong in all of us, but I wait until afterwards to see dramaturg notes, song listings, or “Where have I seen that guy?” cast information. All of that is just as overinformative as Blackbird’s Equity-rule-bending twist.

Bonus Spoilers: I live in fear that one day I will go to a perfectly normal movie, find it pleasant, and as the film ends, the screen will light up with the credit: “Secretly Directed by M. Night Shyamalan”. Please make sure this never happens.

Congratulate me, people. I just completed a dismal first draft of As You Wish. It took only half a year!

Stay tuned for: an office comedy-slash-outbreak thriller? Revisions to dormant plays?

Or six more months of nothing!

I was nearly finished with a first draft of As You Wish. Like The Egypt Play before it, this first draft will contain no excitement, but a structure will soon stand proudly, ready for a second draft beautification.

Soon would normally mean soon, but instead I bought a Nintendo DS! Metroid Fusion, Yoshi’s Island, and Rocket Slime have laid waste to any productivity.

I’ve also been failing to attend theatre! I jumped in my car last month for a show directed by former co-worker Adam Immerwahr. I then spent the rest of the night circling West Orange.

Tonight I was equally unsuccessful on foot in lower Manhattan trying to find James Comtois’s Suburban Peepshow. I missed curtain and collapsed in front of the Angelika. I walked in and watched a mainstream French comedy. With the right songwriters, The Valet could easily become a Dirty Rotten Scoundrels-esque musical.

Though they may not let me back into the Angelika, after I shouted, “What is this Guy Maddin parody?!” at the screen during previews. Especially because it was for an actual Guy Maddin movie.

Oh, Guy, you’re aiming for Méliès, but your trailer looks like it’s for the Marilyn Manson S&M video from Lost Highway.