Think of Tom Selleck

Though I have a dozen words left to write for Zenyatta Piñata, why not shirk responsibility and revise a finished play?

I was thinking of Dodgers great Orel Hershiser today, and regretted naming a sex toy after him in my Menage. After all Orel (even when spelled “Oral”) is an honest name. It’s also a religiously inspired name. Why bother putting it in the service of a dirty joke?

Especially because I had a much better dirty joke I could have used, one I formerly employed as an IM away message. Here it is adapted for the play:

Cody Not in your stocking, dude.

(He throws a toy at JOE.)


Joe (Inspecting it:) What is this?

Cody Come on; you have to ask? It’s a rubber mouth.

Joe Cody, it has a moustache!

Cody So?

Joe It’s a man’s mouth!

Cody Is that a problem?

Joe Maybe I’m uptight, Cody, but I don’t have any fantasies involving facial hair down there.

Cody Aw, sure you do, Joe. Just close your eyes and think of Tom Selleck.

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