Mike Mariano

I never expected to find theatre reviews on historian/documentarian Jason Scott’s website, but this morning I was treated to a firsthand recounting of the off-Broadway production of The Last Starfighter: The Musical. Jason strongly recommends the production, and his synopsis is a fun read.

While spending an ultimately disastrous weekend at my family estate in North Carolina, I flipped channels and saw some of the film The Last Starfighter on HBO, complete with Robert Preston. I thought, “Wow, a movie with Robert Preston that’s been turned into an off-Broadway musical!” I then flipped to a second HBO channel to find Victor/Victoria. I thought, “Wow, a movie with Robert Preston that’s been turned into a Broadway musical!” Someone in charge of scheduling at HBO was having fun.

I then wondered if they were ever going to make a musical out of that other Robert Preston movie. You know, the one with the pool halls? That librarian? Balzac?

Nah, you’ve got to draw the line with these remakes somewhere.

P.S.: Jason mentions the “ravishing actress Heather Spore.” Anyone out there writing their own 80s science-fiction musical? Why not book an actress with prior experience?

Maybe this is a bad thing for a playwright to admit, but I sometimes play for the other side. I occasionally evaluate the scripts of other playwrights.

I’m a merciless mercenary, yes, but I would like to think I’m professional as well. But that’s a difficult thought to maintain when I all too often “pitch” the play to myself as if I was in The Player. Following are my personal capsulations for plays which will remain anonymous (though some you may have heard of):

• “It’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead meets The West Wing!”
• “It’s Proof meets Arcadia”!
• “It’s Silence of the Lambs meets Nell! It’s Jodie Fosterrific!”
• “It’s Henry V meets Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meets Kelly’s Heroes!”
• “It’s Rope meets Archie Comics meets The Big Chill meets Cavalier and Clay meets Tales from the Crypt meets Mad Magazine meets AIDS plays!”

Wow, I read some fun plays! And I’ve got to lay off the Stoppard.

You haven’t forgotten about Hellhouse, have you?

This year’s version of Madame Guignol’s Macabre Theatre opens tonight, featuring the short plays Murdering Jesus, Black Magic Women, The Elect, The Pardoner’s Tale, Gorge Rising, and Muggled. That last play is my own.

Have I written Harry Potter fan fiction? Yes. Yes I have. Get yourself to Fullerton, CA to see it.