Burquas! Beheadings! Kenny Loggins!

This is the way American minds work:

Years ago, we read that the Taliban implemented unbelievable restrictions in Afghanistan following their 1996 takeover, including a ban on music and dancing.

Our first thought as a nation? “That’s kinda like the movie Footloose.”

John Lithgow bans dancing. Mullah Omar bans dancing. We can connect the dots, and we have, in snarky magazine articles!

So why not take it further? Let’s stop snickering about this connection and do something with it. Footloose is now a stage musical—let’s restage the play and set it in Kabul, circa 2001! Burquas! Beheadings! Kenny Loggins! The production will serve the double purpose of rescuing the film from its eighties trappings and rescuing stage depictions of Afghanistan from Tony Kushner.

Is this plausible? Of course it is! If one Bonnie Tyler song can survive a transfer to a nightmarish setting (“Total Eclipse of the Heart” in Dance of the Vampires), why can’t “Holding Out For A Hero” do the same?

I’ve taken the first step by placing the following ad in Backstage. Who else is with me? Together we have made a connection between a country halfway around the world and a small, fictional mid-western town. Bringing them together will require working hard and punching cards, but the results will be well worth it.

ACTOR NEEDED TO PLAY KEVIN BACON.  Requirements: He's got to be strong.  He's got to be fast.  He's got to be fresh from the fight.  Romeo not necessary, but must be loving one-man show.

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