Monthly Archives: March 2004

Starbucks

Sooner or later, every Onion article will have a real-life counterpart: Starbucks Unveils Aggressive Growth Plan Starbucks To Begin Sinister ‘Phase Two’ Of Operation

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George Washington

(A man waits for the bus with five other men. They are all dressed as GEORGE WASHINGTON. Time passes. The man fumbles through his wallet.) Man Can anyone change a five? (All five of the WASHINGTONS simultaneously pull out a … Continue reading

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Karl Meltzer

I try to choose character names that aren’t necessarily common or specific, but I must have missed this guy. It’s Karl Meltzer, who apparently is some sort of adventurer who shares the same name as my fictional psychologist. He’s tall, … Continue reading

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