Pool Tables

Many of you may have seen the film The Accused, a movie where Jodie Foster’s character is subject to a horrific gang rape on a pool table. The film is based on a real life case, which in turn may have been influenced by Larry Flynt’s rape fantasy Dirty Pool.

Now it seems that history has repeated itself in Orange County, California, where the son of the assistant sheriff is on trial for participating in a horrific gang rape on a pool table. Obviously, the events depicted in The Accused are not isolated incidents. To prevent future horrors, there’s only one thing we can do.

We have to ban pool tables.

It’s a drastic step, I know, but it’s a simple fact: eliminate pool tables and the number of gang rapes that take place on a pool table drops to zero.

I am working with Professor Harold Hill to ensure that the plan for pool-table-elimination he describes in this manifesto becomes a reality.

With any luck, the trouble caused right here in River City will never happen again.

This entry was posted in General. Bookmark the permalink.