Back to the Future

It’s too bad about the Segway recall. Maybe someday we’ll get Back to the Future that has been previously predicted:

(Hill Valley, 2005. MARTY MCFLY cannons out of a local diner, pursued by a gang of bullies. He looks into the square and sees a girl riding a scooter. He dashes out to her.)

Marty Little girl, little girl! I need to borrow your—

(He looks closely at the scooter.)

Marty Segway?

(The bullies get closer. Against the protests of the girl, Marty takes off on the Segway. He stumbles at first, but regains his balance and rockets off…at ten miles per hour. On foot, the bullies overtake Marty, then pull him off the scooter and kick the crap out of him.)

Scene 2

(Marty awakens in a dark room. His wounds are being administered by a MYSTERIOUS FIGURE)

Marty Mom? Mom, is that you?

Figure There there; you’d better rest. You took quite a beating out there.

Marty I had this terrible nightmare. I was twenty years in the future. Everyone drove these huge, fuel-inefficient vehicles. Bobby from New Edition was in jail. And Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor…

Figure Now don’t you worry about that, you just concentrate on getting our nation’s schoolchildren interested in science and technology.

Marty Getting our nation’s schoolchildren interested in science and technology?!

(The figure turns on a light. It is Segway inventor DEAN KAMEN!)

Marty You’re my….

Dean Kamen I’m Segway inventor Dean Kamen. And those bullies have crippled you so you can’t even walk.

Marty Oh no!

Dean Kamen Luckily I’ve invented a wheelchair that can climb stairs for you. By the way, what’s your name?

Marty My name’s Mart— Martin…Ricky Martin….

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